Post by bigmikefoyer on Jan 22, 2010 17:21:42 GMT -7
[The scene opens upon a spacious set featuring a backdrop of the New York skyline, a large oak desk littered with assorted nick nacks and paperwork, and a large white couch. Seated behind that desk is a portly older man with a rather large jaw, thinning blond hair, and beady green eyes decked out in a cheap pin stripe suit. Upon the wall behind him it reads "The Tonight Show with Brian J. Lennernan". Obviously, Mr. Lennernan is the old guy behind the desk...]
Lennernan- Hey everybody, welcome to the Tonight Show, and tonight, we have a special guest from overnight Canadian wrestling sensation, The Dangerous Championship Wrestling League. Well he wasn't our first choice, but the Champ refused to give us the time of day, and the other guy we asked was too busy raising money to burn schwastikas or something, but anyways, here he is, Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for Big...Mike... Fooooyyyyeerrrr!!!
[...Canned applause rings out as BMF steps onto the stage dressed surprisingly well. He sported a brown business suit, tan suede cowboy boots, an untucked white dress shirt, designer shades hanging from his shirt collar, and a black leather belt with a sizeable silver Brahma bull belt buckle. His beard had been recently trimmed, and his hair is tied back into a neat pony tail. Mike settles down on the couch beside Lennernan, leaning towards the man a bit...]
BMF- Thanks for having me, Brian...
Lennernan- The pleasure is ours big guy. You know, for a big guy who works in a profession known for big guys who rip other big guys limb from limb while calling them all sorts of vile things, you seem to be a pretty pleasent guy, at least from what I gathered backstage.
[...BMF chuckles a bit...]
BMF- Yeah well, when I'm on the job, I'm paid to be a mean S.O.B. and that's what the fans wanna' see, so that's what I give 'em.
Lennernan- Well, tell us a little bit about the man they called "Three Hundred and Fifty Pounds of Bad M'F'er"
[...Mike nods...]
BMF- ...Well there isn't a whole lot to tell. I'm a big guy that loves wrestling. It wasn't my first love, but it's been the longest lasting despite everything that's happened in the last couple years...
Lennernan- It's been well documented your issues with the DCWL Grand Champion, Leon Corella, and How he nearly put you out of the profession altogether.
[...BMF took in a deep sigh, placing a hand on the desk...]
BMF- ...It's been tough, Brian. It's a miracle I'm even able to speak, let alone be alive to tell the tale today. The doctors told me that a man who had my kind of head trauma would normally be a vegetable at best.
[...Lennernan nodded...]
Lennernan- How bad was it, if you don't mind me asking?
BMF- Well, for about six months parts of my skull were held together with pins and plates. A large portion of it, right here...
[...Big Mike points at the visible scar on his forehead...]
...Was shattered like glass. It's the only part that has a permanent plate in place of actual skull. Makes it a b**ch when I walk through metal detectors. They say the only thing that saved my life, was the thickness of the bone. Thick bones are one of the reasons I'm as big as I am. Even without a good diet and body building, I'd still be able to lift at least twice what the average man at my height can lift, and I owe it in large part to the structure and density of my bone mass.
Lennernan- Interesting... So they said you should have been a vegetable?
[...Mike gave a quick nod, leaning back on the couch and adjusting the waistline of his pants...]
BMF- Yep. I still suffered brain damage though. It'd be kind of hard not to when your skull's shattered.
Lennernan- What kind of damage?
BMF- Stuff like short term memory loss, rare bouts of complete lack of depth perception. I've managed to work around 'em pretty good, but I still leave sticky notes and reminders everywhere just so I don't forget stuff.
[...Lennernan shuffled his papers a bit...]
Lennernan- It says here you also suffered a second injury. A completely shattered ankle.
[...Again, BMF nods and takes in a quick breath...]
BMF- Yeah the Medial Malleolus, Calcaneus, Talus, Cuboid, and the lower half of the Tibia were practically shattered with a lead pipe.
[...Lennernan visibly winced at number of bones broken...]
Lennernan- Jeez, that's alot of bones. You seem pretty knowledgeable for a...
[...BMF shot him a feral grin...]
BMF- ...for a what....
[...The talk show host chuckled nervously, adjusting his tie a bit...]
Lennernan- ...for such a moral upstanding member of society...
[...Big Mike snickered...]
BMF- Nice save, Chief. Yeah, I paid attention to the doctors whenever they talked, and I went through roughly 8 operations to repair the damage. I guess you could say, after it was all said and done, that I got myself a bonafide Bionic ankle.
Lennernan- Does it go "na-n-n-naaaah" and let you do sixty foot slow mo jumps like the 6 Million Dollar Man?
[...BMF shot him a flat stare as the "crowd" got a cheap laugh...]
BMF- No, but it along with the rest of my foot have a special ability to get stuck up smart ass Talk Show host's asses...
[...Lennernan and BMF both share a chuckle, though the host's was more nervous than mirthful in nature...]
Lennernan- You know, we did some digging up on you, Big Mike, and what we turned up was pretty surprising....
[...BMF tilts his head a bit, arching a brow...]
BMF- Really? What'd your boys find out about lil' old me?
Lennernan- In highschool, you were a little bit of everything. Head of the highschool chess team, an A roll honor student for all four years, a part of several technical and computer programs, and even ran a Dungeons and Dragons club. Yet somehow, during your 2nd year of highschool, you also managed to be a star running back for the Arlington Texas Yellow Jackets from 2000 to 2002, when you graduated with honors.
[...BMF straightens up in his seat a bit...]
BMF- Yeah, well I was a nerd. The biggest, strongest, and toughest damn nerd you've ever seen, but still a nerd. Ol' Coach Ferguson took one look at me and said "Kid, you're gonna' play football for me." I liked watching football, so I figured what the hell? I gave it a shot. It's because of the Coach I even learned the meaning of the word exercise and eating right.
[...The Big Man smirked...]
Lennernan- We also turned up that in 2005 you graduated from MIT.
BMF- Yup. Got in with scholarship money. I majored in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science. It's how I paid my medical bills during the time I was out on injury. I still do some consulting work on the side, alot of it over the phone considering how much time I've been spending in Canada lately.
[...Lennernan cocks his brow...]
Lennernan- So let me get this straight, you have prospects at a job that could easily land you a yearly income that's at least six figures, but you choose to work a job where you get the hell beat out of you on a daily basis for pennies to the dollar? Are you mental man?!
[...Big Mike shakes his head...]
BMF- Nah. As I said, I do consulting work on the side, so I'm still making good money. In life, you gotta' do what you love, and as I said, Wrestling wasn't my first love, but it's the one that's lasted. When the doctor's got through operating on me, I found that other than a little stiffness in my ankle, I could still move like I used to...
[...BMF makes a few mock duck and weave motions with his hands held up as if ready to grapple. He then lets them drop back down into his lap.]
...So I hit the weights, got back into shape, and when I was ready, I came back. When I heard Leo was back in the sport several months after I got back in, I couldn't pass up the oppertunity to repay him for the hell he put me through.
[...Lennernan shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head, a look of pure consternation spreading across his face...]
Lennernan- ...If I were in your shoes, I'd take option B and swim in a pool full of Cash. Beats the crap out of taking steel chairs to your skull on a day to day basis...
[...BMF chuckled...]
BMF- and that's why you're a pencil necked geek sitting behind a desk asking guys like me questions.
[...The host shot him a flat stare that quickly turned into a grin...]
Lennernan- So you have this big show coming up, DCWL's "Contains Spoilers" and you've got a big match coming up
BMF- I'm facing the former Champ, Julian "Bane" Beckson, and long standing contender Maurice Thompson in a threeway for Leo's belt. I am going to win it, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Lennernan- You sound rather confident. You wouldn't happen to know something the rest of us don't?
[...BMF shoots off a mischevious grin...]
BMF- I spiked the KoolAid with Jack Daniels, Vicoden, and X-Lax!
[...They both share a chuckle...]
Lennernan- Really?
BMF- Nah, but it's a hell of a thought ain't it? Drunk, drugged, and suffering diarriah. Actually I'm confident because I've beaten both men. I made Bane my bitch at DCWL's "The Year We Make Contact", and since Thompson's been beaten by Bane twice in a row, then that means I've beaten him by default. I'm the best man in the ring, hands down.
[...Lennernan quickly looks at the clock and feigns dismay..]
Lennernan- Oh crimeny we're out of time, thank you for joining us... Big Mike Foyer ladies and gentlemen! Be sure to catch the webcast of DCWL's "Contain's Spoilers" on February 3rd, 2010. See it live at the Klezskavanian Cultural Social Club Society of Seattle, in Seattle, Washington.
[...The two rise up to canned applause, and Lennernan holds his hand out. Big Mike grips it with near bone crushing force and a smile, Lennernan's grimace of pain his only response. He then releases him and steps off camera as Lennernan sits back down, wringing his hand...]
Lennernan- Wow what a grip... How many lonely nights you think this guy has to get a grip that strong? Know what I mean?
[...A quick flash to a drummer in the band to his left, a bald wiry man who laughs as if he just farted. The scene fades to commercial from there...]
Lennernan- Hey everybody, welcome to the Tonight Show, and tonight, we have a special guest from overnight Canadian wrestling sensation, The Dangerous Championship Wrestling League. Well he wasn't our first choice, but the Champ refused to give us the time of day, and the other guy we asked was too busy raising money to burn schwastikas or something, but anyways, here he is, Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for Big...Mike... Fooooyyyyeerrrr!!!
[...Canned applause rings out as BMF steps onto the stage dressed surprisingly well. He sported a brown business suit, tan suede cowboy boots, an untucked white dress shirt, designer shades hanging from his shirt collar, and a black leather belt with a sizeable silver Brahma bull belt buckle. His beard had been recently trimmed, and his hair is tied back into a neat pony tail. Mike settles down on the couch beside Lennernan, leaning towards the man a bit...]
BMF- Thanks for having me, Brian...
Lennernan- The pleasure is ours big guy. You know, for a big guy who works in a profession known for big guys who rip other big guys limb from limb while calling them all sorts of vile things, you seem to be a pretty pleasent guy, at least from what I gathered backstage.
[...BMF chuckles a bit...]
BMF- Yeah well, when I'm on the job, I'm paid to be a mean S.O.B. and that's what the fans wanna' see, so that's what I give 'em.
Lennernan- Well, tell us a little bit about the man they called "Three Hundred and Fifty Pounds of Bad M'F'er"
[...Mike nods...]
BMF- ...Well there isn't a whole lot to tell. I'm a big guy that loves wrestling. It wasn't my first love, but it's been the longest lasting despite everything that's happened in the last couple years...
Lennernan- It's been well documented your issues with the DCWL Grand Champion, Leon Corella, and How he nearly put you out of the profession altogether.
[...BMF took in a deep sigh, placing a hand on the desk...]
BMF- ...It's been tough, Brian. It's a miracle I'm even able to speak, let alone be alive to tell the tale today. The doctors told me that a man who had my kind of head trauma would normally be a vegetable at best.
[...Lennernan nodded...]
Lennernan- How bad was it, if you don't mind me asking?
BMF- Well, for about six months parts of my skull were held together with pins and plates. A large portion of it, right here...
[...Big Mike points at the visible scar on his forehead...]
...Was shattered like glass. It's the only part that has a permanent plate in place of actual skull. Makes it a b**ch when I walk through metal detectors. They say the only thing that saved my life, was the thickness of the bone. Thick bones are one of the reasons I'm as big as I am. Even without a good diet and body building, I'd still be able to lift at least twice what the average man at my height can lift, and I owe it in large part to the structure and density of my bone mass.
Lennernan- Interesting... So they said you should have been a vegetable?
[...Mike gave a quick nod, leaning back on the couch and adjusting the waistline of his pants...]
BMF- Yep. I still suffered brain damage though. It'd be kind of hard not to when your skull's shattered.
Lennernan- What kind of damage?
BMF- Stuff like short term memory loss, rare bouts of complete lack of depth perception. I've managed to work around 'em pretty good, but I still leave sticky notes and reminders everywhere just so I don't forget stuff.
[...Lennernan shuffled his papers a bit...]
Lennernan- It says here you also suffered a second injury. A completely shattered ankle.
[...Again, BMF nods and takes in a quick breath...]
BMF- Yeah the Medial Malleolus, Calcaneus, Talus, Cuboid, and the lower half of the Tibia were practically shattered with a lead pipe.
[...Lennernan visibly winced at number of bones broken...]
Lennernan- Jeez, that's alot of bones. You seem pretty knowledgeable for a...
[...BMF shot him a feral grin...]
BMF- ...for a what....
[...The talk show host chuckled nervously, adjusting his tie a bit...]
Lennernan- ...for such a moral upstanding member of society...
[...Big Mike snickered...]
BMF- Nice save, Chief. Yeah, I paid attention to the doctors whenever they talked, and I went through roughly 8 operations to repair the damage. I guess you could say, after it was all said and done, that I got myself a bonafide Bionic ankle.
Lennernan- Does it go "na-n-n-naaaah" and let you do sixty foot slow mo jumps like the 6 Million Dollar Man?
[...BMF shot him a flat stare as the "crowd" got a cheap laugh...]
BMF- No, but it along with the rest of my foot have a special ability to get stuck up smart ass Talk Show host's asses...
[...Lennernan and BMF both share a chuckle, though the host's was more nervous than mirthful in nature...]
Lennernan- You know, we did some digging up on you, Big Mike, and what we turned up was pretty surprising....
[...BMF tilts his head a bit, arching a brow...]
BMF- Really? What'd your boys find out about lil' old me?
Lennernan- In highschool, you were a little bit of everything. Head of the highschool chess team, an A roll honor student for all four years, a part of several technical and computer programs, and even ran a Dungeons and Dragons club. Yet somehow, during your 2nd year of highschool, you also managed to be a star running back for the Arlington Texas Yellow Jackets from 2000 to 2002, when you graduated with honors.
[...BMF straightens up in his seat a bit...]
BMF- Yeah, well I was a nerd. The biggest, strongest, and toughest damn nerd you've ever seen, but still a nerd. Ol' Coach Ferguson took one look at me and said "Kid, you're gonna' play football for me." I liked watching football, so I figured what the hell? I gave it a shot. It's because of the Coach I even learned the meaning of the word exercise and eating right.
[...The Big Man smirked...]
Lennernan- We also turned up that in 2005 you graduated from MIT.
BMF- Yup. Got in with scholarship money. I majored in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science. It's how I paid my medical bills during the time I was out on injury. I still do some consulting work on the side, alot of it over the phone considering how much time I've been spending in Canada lately.
[...Lennernan cocks his brow...]
Lennernan- So let me get this straight, you have prospects at a job that could easily land you a yearly income that's at least six figures, but you choose to work a job where you get the hell beat out of you on a daily basis for pennies to the dollar? Are you mental man?!
[...Big Mike shakes his head...]
BMF- Nah. As I said, I do consulting work on the side, so I'm still making good money. In life, you gotta' do what you love, and as I said, Wrestling wasn't my first love, but it's the one that's lasted. When the doctor's got through operating on me, I found that other than a little stiffness in my ankle, I could still move like I used to...
[...BMF makes a few mock duck and weave motions with his hands held up as if ready to grapple. He then lets them drop back down into his lap.]
...So I hit the weights, got back into shape, and when I was ready, I came back. When I heard Leo was back in the sport several months after I got back in, I couldn't pass up the oppertunity to repay him for the hell he put me through.
[...Lennernan shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head, a look of pure consternation spreading across his face...]
Lennernan- ...If I were in your shoes, I'd take option B and swim in a pool full of Cash. Beats the crap out of taking steel chairs to your skull on a day to day basis...
[...BMF chuckled...]
BMF- and that's why you're a pencil necked geek sitting behind a desk asking guys like me questions.
[...The host shot him a flat stare that quickly turned into a grin...]
Lennernan- So you have this big show coming up, DCWL's "Contains Spoilers" and you've got a big match coming up
BMF- I'm facing the former Champ, Julian "Bane" Beckson, and long standing contender Maurice Thompson in a threeway for Leo's belt. I am going to win it, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Lennernan- You sound rather confident. You wouldn't happen to know something the rest of us don't?
[...BMF shoots off a mischevious grin...]
BMF- I spiked the KoolAid with Jack Daniels, Vicoden, and X-Lax!
[...They both share a chuckle...]
Lennernan- Really?
BMF- Nah, but it's a hell of a thought ain't it? Drunk, drugged, and suffering diarriah. Actually I'm confident because I've beaten both men. I made Bane my bitch at DCWL's "The Year We Make Contact", and since Thompson's been beaten by Bane twice in a row, then that means I've beaten him by default. I'm the best man in the ring, hands down.
[...Lennernan quickly looks at the clock and feigns dismay..]
Lennernan- Oh crimeny we're out of time, thank you for joining us... Big Mike Foyer ladies and gentlemen! Be sure to catch the webcast of DCWL's "Contain's Spoilers" on February 3rd, 2010. See it live at the Klezskavanian Cultural Social Club Society of Seattle, in Seattle, Washington.
[...The two rise up to canned applause, and Lennernan holds his hand out. Big Mike grips it with near bone crushing force and a smile, Lennernan's grimace of pain his only response. He then releases him and steps off camera as Lennernan sits back down, wringing his hand...]
Lennernan- Wow what a grip... How many lonely nights you think this guy has to get a grip that strong? Know what I mean?
[...A quick flash to a drummer in the band to his left, a bald wiry man who laughs as if he just farted. The scene fades to commercial from there...]